Craigslist can be a wild world, especially when it comes to selling your treasures. You’ve posted your item, feeling proud, and then… BAM!
Someone throws a lowball offer at you that’s so ridiculous it hurts your soul. But fear not! Responding to lowballers doesn’t have to be stressful. In fact, it can be downright fun.
Whether you want to be funny, brutal, flirty, sarcastic, or downright creative, there’s a perfect response waiting to help you get what your item is truly worth—or just enjoy the trolling moment.
Savvy sellers know how to turn lowball offers into a hilarious or empowering moment. With the rise of memes, viral text screenshots, and social media sharing, a clever Craigslist comeback can make you famous among your friends—or at least earn some serious street cred.
So, buckle up, because we’re diving into the ultimate collection of responses that will make lowballers regret underestimating your items.
Funny Responses
- Wow… I didn’t realize my item was part of a clearance bin special!
Use this when you want to tease without being mean. - Thanks for the offer, I’ll add it to my ‘world’s most generous people’ list.
Playfully highlights how unrealistic the offer is. - I see you’re budgeting… by 90%.
Funny exaggeration makes it clear the price is low. - My item called; it’s offended by your offer.
Perfect for a playful, cheeky tone. - Do you accept Monopoly money?
Classic humor for a ridiculous offer. - Nice try… my cat wouldn’t sell it for that.
Cute and funny, softens the burn. - I appreciate the effort, but I’m holding out for real humans.
Light sarcasm works well here. - Is that your opening offer or your best insult?
Combines humor with a hint of sass. - I laughed, I cried, then I deleted your offer.
A dramatic, funny response. - I think the item and I need therapy after seeing this offer.
Playful exaggeration for a laugh.
brutal Responses
- Wow… you must think my stuff grows on trees.
Straightforward, confident burn. - Try again when you’re serious about money.
Cuts to the chase without extra fluff. - I’ve had spam emails offer more than this.
Classic brutal comparison. - You’re lucky I’m not charging you for your wasted time.
Turns the lowball around on them. - Not even close, but points for effort.
Brief, cutting, and hilarious. - If lowballing were a sport, you’d be a pro.
Playful mockery with a brutal edge. - I’ll sell it for your self-respect instead.
Sharp and witty. - That’s adorable. Try double.
Quick, short, brutal response. - This item isn’t charity, sweetie.
Directly calls out the undervaluing. - My price isn’t up for negotiation… with bargain-bin brains.
brutal and clever.
Flirty Responses
- Cute offer… almost as cute as you trying.
Flirty with a playful nudge. - If I lower the price, do I get coffee with that charm?
Adds personality while staying light. - I might consider your offer… if you’re buying dinner too.
Fun and flirty barter. - Not bad, but my heart (and price) is higher.
Flirty wordplay. - I’d think about it… if you promise to smile when paying.
Adds warmth and charm. - You drive a hard bargain… and I like a challenge.
Subtle flirt, confident tone. - My price is firm, but my interest in witty people isn’t.
Clever flirt without giving in. - If lowballing were attractive, you’d have me hooked.
Sarcastic but flirty. - I could consider it… if your charm is part of the deal.
Playful tease. - Offer is cute, just like you. Try harder.
Flirty encouragement with humor.
Polite Responses
- Thanks for your interest! My asking price is firm at $XXX.
Simple, polite, professional. - I appreciate your offer, but I can’t accept less than $XXX.
Kindly sets boundaries. - Thank you for reaching out. The current price is best I can do.
Polite but clear. - Your offer is appreciated; I’d consider $XXX instead.
Shows flexibility politely. - Thanks! I’m holding out for closer to asking price.
Friendly, firm response. - I appreciate your interest. Let me know if you can meet $XXX.
Encourages negotiation politely. - Thank you for your offer. Unfortunately, it’s too low for me.
Polite decline, clear message. - I value your inquiry! I’m firm at $XXX for this item.
Professional tone, sets expectation. - Thanks! I’ve priced it fairly, hope you understand.
Polite and informative. - Your offer is noted, but I must stick to $XXX.
Respectful and clear.
Professional Responses
- The listed price reflects current market value. $XXX is firm.
Professional, factual approach. - I’ve done research; the price is reasonable. Cannot go lower.
Shows authority and preparation. - Thanks for your interest. Offer is too low to consider.
Simple, professional. - This item is priced competitively. $XXX is final.
Factual, no-nonsense tone. - I appreciate your offer. Fair market value is $XXX.
Professional and confident. - Thank you for reaching out. I cannot accept less than $XXX.
Clear and authoritative. - Price is firm based on condition and demand.
Professional justification. - Thanks! I suggest checking other listings for similar items.
Redirects subtly. - Your offer is noted but not feasible.
Professional decline. - Item is priced fairly. Firm at $XXX.
Short and concise.
Creative Responses
- Your offer is cute, like a puppy trying to sell a lion.
Metaphorical, fun way to decline. - I’d accept, but only if time-travel existed to make it worth $XXX.
Humorous exaggeration. - Offer doesn’t compute. Must input real-world money.
Geeky, playful tone. - This is a no from me, but your creativity gets points.
Encourages humor and play. - Thanks! If this were a game show, you’d be contestant #LOL.
Gamifies the exchange. - My couch laughed at your offer and demanded more.
Personification makes it funny. - Your math is interesting… wrong, but interesting.
Clever, playful burn. - I’d accept, but only if unicorns start paying bills.
Whimsical creative approach. - Offer is low… like basement low. Try attic-level next.
Creative exaggeration. - Your bid is a plot twist I didn’t see coming.
Storytelling style response.
Sarcastic Responses
- Wow, you must be a financial genius… in an alternate universe.
Sarcastic mockery. - Thanks! I’ll add it to my collection of hilarious offers.
Light sarcasm. - Your offer is bold… like a toddler negotiating rent.
Funny, sarcastic imagery. - Oh, absolutely… if I wanted to throw my money away.
Dry, sarcastic tone. - You clearly read my mind… and overestimated it.
Sarcasm with humor. - I’ll consider it when pigs fly… or Bitcoin crashes again.
Witty sarcasm. - Love the confidence. Hate the math.
Short, sharp, sarcastic. - You should be a comedian, not a negotiator.
Sarcastic compliment. - Offer noted. Rejection will follow shortly.
Funny and sarcastic. - I’m shook… at how low that is.
Casual, sarcastic reaction.
Cute Responses
- Aww, thanks for trying! My price is $XXX though.
Sweet, friendly decline. - So cute, but no can do!
Brief and charming. - I appreciate it, little offer, but too small.
Personifying the offer makes it lighthearted. - Your offer gave me giggles… but I’ll pass.
Cute and playful. - Thanks for your bid! My heart says no, my price says yes.
Funny, cute combo. - That’s tiny! Like my patience for lowball offers.
Playful exaggeration. - Offer is cute, but my wallet says nah.
Personifies humorously. - I see your tiny offer and raise you a smile.
Friendly and whimsical. - Thanks for playing! Price is firm though.
Polite yet cute. - Your bid is adorable, like a kitten in a teacup.
Visual imagery makes it cute.
Direct Responses
- Price is $XXX. Take it or leave it.
Clear and no-nonsense. - Your offer is too low. $XXX is firm.
Direct, assertive. - I’m not accepting offers under $XXX.
Simple, straightforward. - Thanks, but $XXX is non-negotiable.
Short, clear. - Offer rejected. Price remains $XXX.
Direct and factual. - Cannot accept that. Firm at $XXX.
Assertive. - Lowest I go is $XXX. No exceptions.
Confident, no-frills. - Offer too low. Please submit reasonable bid.
Polite yet firm. - Price stands at $XXX. Thank you.
Minimalist approach. - Offer declined. Price unchanged.
Efficient and straightforward.
FAQs:
How should I respond to extremely low offers?: Respond with humor, politeness, or firmness—whichever fits your style.
Is it okay to ignore lowball offers?: Absolutely! Ignoring is a valid tactic if the offer isn’t serious.
Can I negotiate after a brutal response?: Yes, many buyers respect confidence and may increase their offer.
What if the buyer gets offended?: Keep it lighthearted or professional. Lowballers shouldn’t dictate your mood.
Should I adjust my price for offers?: Only if it’s reasonable and still fair for you. Don’t undervalue your items.
Conclusion:
Time to take control of your Craigslist sales with style! Whether you go funny, flirty, brutal, or professional, these responses give you confidence and keep the conversation entertaining.
Try them out, screenshot the funniest ones, and share with friends for some viral-worthy laughs. Your items deserve respect—and your replies should too!
